Why Most Breathwork Fails (And How to Create Real Change)

Soulful explorations on taking inspired action

In a world immersed (or obsessed) in self-optimisation and self-improvement, breathwork has emerged as one of the leading lights in the modern wellness movement, as a gateway to wellbeing and inner alchemy. Yet despite its growing popularity, I’ve witnessed first hand how I myself, and many clients have found themselves caught in endless cycles of practice without experiencing the profound shifts they seek (or have been promised on Instagram). Thomas Moore wrote "therapy often emphasises change so strongly that people often neglect their own natures and are tantalised by images of some ideal normality and health that may always be out of reach. By trying to avoid human mistakes and failures, we move beyond the reach of the soul”.

Although written way back in 1993 (making me feel *old*), could apply to any wellbeing trend or therapeutic practice 30 years later. It cuts to the heart of why many breathwork approaches fail to create lasting change. When steeped in perfectionism and/or self-loathing, and disconnected from a deeper purpose and authentic engagement, even the most technically perfect practice becomes another hollow ritual. The solution? In my opinion, is to find our way back to breath as something beyond a modality, but as an integrated life philosophy. In order to do so, we need to take inspired action, and move beyond the Four Horsemen of Modern Wellness that I wrote about in this recent article.

The Perfectionism Trap

I’ve heard it so many times from clients - “I’m worried I’m not doing it right” - and while understanding the fundamentals and how to use your breath effectively matters, it feeds an unhealthy modern perfectionism that’s rife in the wellness world. The modern breathwork landscape is filled with promises of the "perfect technique" – the exact rhythm, duration, and method that will ‘cure your anxiety’ or provide a quick fix to seemingly any number of ailments. We diligently count seconds of inhales and exhales, obsess over which nostril to breathe through, and meticulously track their progress against idealised standards that our bound to a rigid one-size-fits-all approach.

This perfectionism reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of our breath's nature. Breath is not meant to be perfected; it is meant to be experienced. The breath is a window into the moment by moment changing internal and external environments. By imposing rigidity on this dynamic process, we remove breath, and as such, ourselves from our essential nature

Moore's philosophy of journeying back to soul, reminds us that healing often occurs not through perfection but through honouring our innate nature, including its so-called flaws or limitations. True support through the breath requires not technical mastery but presence with what is – the irregular rhythms, the catches, the sighs that express our authentic emotional state. When we release the need for the "perfect" breath, we create space for the breath that actually serves us in each moment.

So often this desire for perfection is our practice is well-intentioned but comes from a place of non-enoughness within the practitioner and a desire to neatly and efficiently package a tool to be sold on the part of the facilitator and we must move beyond this to create real change.

Breathwork as Escapism

When it comes with breathwork for nervous system regulation, "just breathe" has become a standard prescription for nearly every uncomfortable human experience. Stressed? Breathe. Angry? Breathe. Grieving? Breathe. While breathing techniques can indeed support us through challenging emotional experiences, this approach often crosses into troubling territory when breathwork becomes a means of bypassing rather than processing emotions.

Many popular breathwork methods implicitly promise relief from the messiness of human feeling. Through controlled breathing, we can learn to dial down emotional intensity and create distance from discomfort. While effective, this application of breathwork can serve as a sophisticated form escapism – a way to avoid rather than engage with the vital information our emotions provide. There is a fine line between using the breath to shift our state and work with our nervous system, and deepening this sense of avoidance - and we must marry our breathwork practice with acknowledge and acceptance of our emotions, giving space to feel them fully without becoming engulfed by them.

As we begin to explore Conscious Connected Breathwork and altered states of consciousness, we encounter a second form of escapism through the breath. As we drop into these mystical states and experiences, the Wim Hof crowd (and many others), yell “get high on your own supply” - which, while well intentioned, speaks to using the breath as a means to escape your current reality, a crutch to be leaned on, rather than a deep experience to gain valuable insight and connection to self and soul. Integration is the difference here - the difference between an experience that is just another distraction and escape for the mundane and uncomfortable, and one that can truly support you in changing your reality.

The Individualism Illusion

Perhaps the most subtle barrier to transformative breathwork lies in its common framing as a purely individual practice.

This individualistic approach ignores the fundamentally relational nature of breath. Every inhale connects us to the collective consciousness; every exhale contributes to it. The breath is the eternal conversation between us and the universe, as old as time itself and as fleeting as the present moment. Our breathing patterns are shaped by conditioning, social structure, and collective trauma. No amount of individual breathwork can fully address issues rooted in systemic problems or collective wounds.

There is something unique that happens in group breathwork experiences. In spite of it being an internal experience for each and every person, a connection forms beyond words as we witness each other in our shared humanity and vulnerability.

The Commodification Crisis

Finally, we must confront how breathwork has been packaged and sold in the wellness marketplace. Through neatly packaged silver bullet promises, to multi-level marketing schemes and weekend certifications, the industry runs the risk of becoming a laughing stock and losing its substance, impact and longevity at the same time.

This commodification strips breathing practices of their cultural contexts and spiritual roots, repackaging ancient wisdom as sleek, branded products. The result is often a watered-down version of breathwork that prioritises marketability over depth and accessibility over authenticity.

The level of true connection to self that enables genuine change requires patience, depth, and a respect for mystery – qualities often at odds with marketable wellness solutions. The true power breathwork cannot be fully contained in a five-step program or weekend workshop; and while these things form an important part of the journey, the truth magic unfolds through consistent, committed engagement over time.

Creating Real Change: A Soul-Led Approach to Breathwork

If these forces – perfectionism, escapism, individualism, and commodification – prevent breathwork from creating genuine transformation, what alternative approaches might foster more meaningful change?

Embrace Imperfection

True change begins with accepting the breath as it is, not as it "should" be. This means releasing technical perfectionism in favour of curiosity about your actual breathing patterns. Notice how your breath responds to different emotions, environments, and relationships. Rather than forcing your breath into controlled patterns, allow it to reveal its own wisdom and natural rhythms - and when you do engage with techniques, let go of any idea of doing it ‘perfectly’ - there is no such thing.

Practice Engaged Presence

Instead of using breathwork to escape discomfort, practice breathing with and through challenging experiences. When difficult emotions arise, observe how your breath naturally responds. Does it become shallow, rapid, or held? Without judgment, explore what happens when you continue breathing consciously while staying present with these sensations. This engaged presence allows breathwork to become a tool for integration rather than avoidance, from there, explore how you can use your breath to ride the wave of discomfort and strong emotions.

Reclaim Breathing as Birthright in Community

Resist the commodification of breath by remembering that breathing is your inherent right, not a premium product. Seek out accessible, community-based breathing practices. Share knowledge freely. Honor the cultural and spiritual contexts of different breathing traditions without appropriating them. Cultivate a relationship with your breath that values depth over novelty and consistency over intensity.

Breathing for Inspired Action

This approach of tending for the soul and revealing the self through breath offers a powerful framework to naviagte our hustle-oriented approach to personal development. When applied to breathwork, it shifts our focus from changing the breath to allowing the breath to change us – not into some idealised version of ourselves, but into more authentic, engaged human beings.

True transformation through breathwork emerges not from technical perfection or momentary escape but from consistent, soulful engagement with our living, breathing reality. It manifests as inspired action – choices and movements that emerge naturally from a deeper connection with ourselves, others, and the world we share.