In a world immersed (or obsessed) in self-optimisation and self-improvement, breathwork has emerged as one of the leading lights in the modern wellness movement, as a gateway to wellbeing and inner alchemy. Yet despite its growing popularity, I've witnessed firsthand how I, and many clients have found themselves caught in endless cycles of practice without experiencing the profound shifts they seek (or have been promised on Instagram).
Thomas Moore wrote "therapy often emphasises change so strongly that people often neglect their own natures and are tantalised by images of some ideal normality and health that may always be out of reach. By trying to avoid human mistakes and failures, we move beyond the reach of the soul."
Although written way back in 1993 (making me feel increasingly old), this could apply to any wellbeing trend or therapeutic practice 30 years later. It cuts to the heart of why many breathwork approaches fail to create lasting change. When steeped in perfectionism, unattainable standards and self-loathing, and disconnected from deeper purpose and authentic engagement, even the most technically perfect practice becomes another tick-box ritual.
The solution? In my opinion, is to find our way back to breath as something beyond a modality, but as an integrated life philosophy. In order to do so, we need to take inspired action, and move beyond the Four Horsemen of Modern Wellness
The Horsemen
1. The Perfectionism Trap
I've heard it so many times from clients: "I'm worried I'm not doing it right." While understanding the fundamentals and how to use your breath effectively matters, this feeds an unhealthy modern perfectionism that's rife in the wellness world.
The modern breathwork landscape is filled with promises of the "perfect breath"- the exact rhythm, duration, and method that will cure your anxiety or provide a quick fix to seemingly any number of ailments. We diligently count seconds of inhales and exhales, obsess over which nostril to breathe through, and meticulously track progress against idealised standards bound to a rigid one-size-fits-all approach.
This perfectionism reveals a fundamental misunderstanding of our breath's nature. Breath is not meant to be perfected; it is meant to be experienced. The breath is a window into the moment-by-moment changing internal and external environments. By imposing rigidity on this dynamic process, we remove breath - and as such, ourselves - from our essential nature.
Moore's philosophy of journeying back to soul reminds us that healing often occurs not through perfection but through honouring our innate nature, including its so-called flaws or limitations. True support through the breath requires not technical mastery but presence with what is - the irregular rhythms, the catches, the sighs that express our authentic emotional state.
When we release the need for every "perfect" breath, we create space for the breath that actually serves us in each moment. So often this desire for perfection in our practice is well-intentioned but comes from a place of not-enoughness within the practitioner and a desire to neatly and efficiently package a tool to be sold on the part of the facilitator. We must move beyond this to create real change.
2. Breathwork as Escapism
When it comes to breathwork for nervous system regulation, "just breathe" has become a standard prescription for nearly every uncomfortable human experience. Stressed? Breathe. Angry? Breathe. Grieving? Breathe. While breathing techniques can indeed support us through challenging emotional experiences, this approach often crosses into troubling territory when breathwork becomes a means of bypassing rather than processing emotions.
Many popular breathwork methods implicitly promise relief from the messiness of human feeling. Through controlled breathing, we can learn to dial down emotional intensity and create distance from discomfort. While often effective, this application of breathwork can serve as sophisticated escapism - a way to avoid rather than engage with the vital information our emotions provide.
There is a fine line between using the breath to shift our state and work with our nervous system, and deepening this sense of avoidance. We must marry our breathwork practice with acknowledgment and acceptance of our emotions, giving space to feel them fully without becoming engulfed by them.
As we explore Conscious Connected Breathing and altered states of consciousness, we encounter a second form of escapism through the breath. As we drop into these mystical states and experiences, the Dutch crowd (and many others) yell "get high on your own supply" - which, while well-intentioned, speaks to using the breath as a means to escape your current reality, a crutch to be leaned on, rather than a deep experience to gain valuable insight and connection to self and soul. Although given the state of the world at times it's understandable to sometimes have a deep desire to simply check out.
Integration is the difference here - the difference between an experience that is just another distraction and escape from the mundane and uncomfortable, and one that can truly support you in changing your reality.
3. The Individualism Illusion
Perhaps the most subtle barrier to creating change through breathwork lies in its common framing as a purely individual pursuit. This individualistic approach ignores the fundamentally relational nature of breath.
Every inhale connects us to the collective consciousness; every exhale contributes to it. The breath is the eternal conversation between us and the universe, as old as time itself and as fleeting as the present moment. Our breathing patterns are shaped by conditioning, social structure, and collective trauma. No amount of individual breathwork can fully address issues rooted in systemic problems or collective wounds.
There is something unique that happens in group breathwork experiences. In spite of it being an internal experience for each person, a connection forms beyond words as we witness each other in our shared humanity and vulnerability.
In our hyperindividualistic culture, we've forgotten what Émile Durkheim called "collective effervescence" - that sense of shared energy and mutual belonging that emerges when humans come together around sacred purpose. Breathwork in community creates these moments naturally, but only when we stop treating it as a solo optimisation project.
4. The Commodification Crisis
Finally, we must confront how breathwork has been packaged and sold in the wellness marketplace. Through neatly packaged silver bullet promises, to multi-level marketing schemes and weekend certifications, the industry runs the risk of becoming a laughing stock and losing its substance, impact, and longevity at the same time.
This commodification strips breathing practices of their cultural contexts and spiritual roots, repackaging ancient wisdom as sleek, branded products. The result is often a watered-down version of breathwork that prioritises marketability over depth and accessibility over authenticity.
The level of true connection to self that enables genuine change requires patience, depth, and a respect for mystery - qualities often at odds with marketable wellness solutions. The true power of breathwork cannot be fully contained in a five-step program or weekend workshop. While these things form an important part of the journey, the real magic unfolds through consistent, committed engagement over time.
When breathwork becomes another product to consume rather than a practice to embody, it loses its transformative potential and becomes just another item in an endless catalogue of wellness solutions that promise everything and deliver little lasting change.
Creating Real Change: A Soul-Led Approach
If these four horsemen - perfectionism, escapism, individualism, and commodification - prevent breathwork from creating genuine transformation, what alternative approaches might foster more meaningful change?
Embrace Imperfection
True change begins with accepting the breath as it is, not as it "should" be. This means releasing technical perfectionism in favour of curiosity about your actual breathing patterns. Notice how your breath responds to different emotions, environments, and relationships. Rather than forcing your breath into controlled patterns, allow it to reveal its own wisdom and natural rhythms.
When you do engage with techniques, let go of any idea of doing it "perfectly" - there is no such thing. Your breath is already perfect as an expression of your current state. The invitation is not to fix it but to be present with it.
This isn't about abandoning proper technique or ignoring the physiological aspects of breathwork. It's about holding technique lightly, as a guide rather than a rigid rule, and allowing space for your individual expression and needs within that framework.
Practice Engaged Presence
Instead of using breathwork to escape discomfort, practice breathing with and through challenging experiences. When difficult emotions arise, observe how your breath naturally responds. Does it become shallow, rapid, or held? Without judgment, explore what happens when you continue breathing consciously whilst staying present with these sensations.
This engaged presence allows breathwork to become a tool for integration rather than avoidance. From there, explore how you can use your breath to ride the wave of discomfort and strong emotions rather than trying to eliminate them.
The goal isn't to feel good all the time but to expand your capacity to be present with whatever arises. This is where real transformation happens - not in the elimination of difficulty but in the expansion of our ability to remain conscious and responsive in the face of challenge.
Reclaiming Breathing in Community
Resist the commodification of breath by remembering that breathing is your inherent right. Seek out real, accessible, community-based breathing practices. Share knowledge freely. Honour the cultural and spiritual contexts of different breathing traditions without appropriating them.
Cultivate a relationship with your breath that values depth over novelty and consistency over intensity. Find or create spaces where breath is practiced not as performance or achievement but as communion - with yourself, with others, with the mystery of existence itself.
This might mean breathing with friends, joining community circles, or simply practising with the awareness that every breath connects you to all breathing beings. It means valuing the sacred over the saleable, the profound over the profitable.
Integrate Rather Than Optimise
Perhaps most importantly, approach breathwork as integration rather than optimisation. Instead of trying to perfect your practice or achieve specific states, focus on how your breathing supports your ability to show up fully in all areas of life.
This means bringing the awareness and presence you develop through formal practice into your relationships, your work, your daily activities. It means using breath not as escape from life but as deeper engagement with it.
True transformation through breathwork emerges not from technical perfection or momentary escape but from consistent, soulful engagement with your living, breathing reality. It manifests as what I call "inspired action" - choices and movements that emerge naturally from a deeper connection with yourself, others, and the world you share.
Beyond Technique: Breath as Philosophy
What I'm suggesting isn't another approach to breathwork but a fundamental shift in how we understand the practice itself. Instead of treating breath as another tool in our wellness toolkit, we can approach it as a life philosophy - a way of being that infuses all our activities with presence, connection, and authenticity.
This shift moves us from asking "How do I do breathwork correctly?" to "How does conscious breathing support me in living fully?" From "What technique should I use?" to "How can I be present with my breath as it is right now?" From "When will I be fixed?" to "How can I accept and work with what is?"
This philosophical approach doesn't eliminate the value of technique, community, or even professional guidance. Rather, it provides a foundation that keeps these elements in service to something deeper - your actual lived experience and genuine transformation.
The Invitation
Your next breath is waiting. It doesn't need to be perfect. It doesn't need to solve anything. It doesn't need to be optimised, commodified, or performed for anyone else.
It just needs to be breathed consciously, with presence and acceptance for whatever arises. In that simple act of conscious breathing lies the potential for real change.
Not the kind of change that looks good on Instagram or sells products, but the kind that actually transforms how you relate to yourself, to others, and to the world. The kind that emerges not from doing breathwork but from allowing the breath to breathe you back into your full humanity.
Your breath is already perfect. Your practice doesn't need to be. The change you're seeking isn't in some future moment of perfect technique but in this present moment of imperfect, authentic, fully human breathing.
Take a breath. Not a perfect one. Just the next one. And discover what becomes possible when you stop trying to fix your breathing and start allowing it to restore your wholeness.